Hello Qurious Readers,
What other than the Olympics are on my mind right now?? These games are chalked full of opportunities to build and practice social emotional learning skills! So many directions to go here, but what is top of mind for me is how we can learn and practice sitting with and accompanying others when they are experiencing big emotions. (Empathy, anyone??) Managing disappointment, resilience, perseverance, joy, excitement…just some of the themes that have come up in my house since the Olympic opening ceremonies on July 26th. My first instinct (like many of you I’m guessing) is to jump in and “fix.” I mean who likes to feel uncomfortable? (That applies to those experiencing the emotion and the support person).
As my daughter (who is a competitive gymnast) and I watched the women’s gymnastics qualifiers and Jade Carey fell backward on her final tumbling pass, her eyes welled up with tears, “I know how that feels and it just isn’t fair. She worked so hard and then she fell.” Yep, sometimes we work so hard at something, and it just doesn’t turn out the way we hoped. What I was sure NOT to do was “at least” the moment and say something like, “Well at least she made it to the Olympics, such a small percentage of people can say that and what an honor it is just to be on the team…at least she still gets to perform on the vault.” (You get my point.) While this statement may be true, I would miss this opportune moment to sit with my 11 year old gymnast who was seeing herself in Jade Carey and connecting with her own feelings of sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration, etc. when she fell off the beam during her final state competition the week before. But she had worked so hard…
When my sweet girl said, “At least she gets to do the vault.” I responded, “Yes, that’s true, so great that she gets to compete on vault AND (key word!) it’s ok for her to feel sad and disappointed that her floor routine didn’t go how she had practiced it so many times. That’s really hard.”
I invite you all to get curious about when you find yourself “at leasting” (yep, I made that a verb) yourself or someone else. Pause. Consider how you can sit with yourself and/or the other person in and through their emotions. That’s practicing and building your empathy muscles. Find those moments and go win yourself gold in empathy!
Until next time…stay EQurious!
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