Work Harder OR Work Differently?
Hello Qurious Readers!
Have you ever found yourself saying things like:
“I need to work harder to get all the things done on my to-do list,” or
“I need to work harder at being a good (friend, partner, parent, etc.)”?
And have you ever found yourself telling a young person, “You just need to work harder.”?
I’m listening to the audio book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage and at the end of a chapter the author said, “I want you to think, not how you can work harder on your relationship, but how you can work differently.” This may not seem that earth shattering (to you), but it really stuck with me; sparking my curiosity and occupying my thoughts for the last week and half. I’ve been trying on this subtle shift, particularly with hard things that I feel stuck on---I’m saying the words out loud, “How can I work differently?” Now, to be clear, there are times that I just need to work harder (I know some of you were thinking that), AND I am noticing that when I intentionally shift my mindset to “how can I work differently,” it opens up space and possibilities I hadn’t considered.
At the Coffee and Conversation this week, we talked about the challenge of recruiting and retaining staff; not a new conversation in the OST space! People are working SO hard to recruit and retain--still it continues to baffle and frustrate so many of us. I’ve heard the words, “our organization needs to work harder at this.” We are already working really hard, what if we ask ourselves, “How can we work differently?” (We came up with some awesome ideas that we will share in the Coffee and Conversation follow up on the website soon!)
I’m reading the book referenced above as my partner and I have been working really hard for years to “make time” for each other, but with jobs, kids, (you get my drift), it’s been hard. Now, we are working differently on prioritizing time together in ways that work more effectively for how each of our brains work; we hadn’t considered this before, we just kept working harder, not differently. I invite you to get curious about shifting the question to, “How can I work differently?” these next couple of weeks when you are feeling stuck on something (big or small) and see what you notice.
Until next time…stay EQurious!
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